The Lonely Island of Pretentia

Ever wonder about the pretense of being you? You can call them little white lies about yourself. Everyone tells them. Everyone is pretentious. Some people might hate to admit it but it’s true. Why are we like this? I think in some ways it’s our own little security blanket. Being the REAL me has a lot of risks involved. If someone doesn’t like you, how crushing would it be to realize they didn’t like the REAL you? It’s an easier pill to swallow if they didn’t like the PRETENSE of being you.

Here’s an example a friend gave me (thanks Liz).

Have you ever been alone in a room and have someone come up behind you or from around a corner and totally surprise you? Your heart skips a beat and you jump a thousand miles right? On a shallow level we’re surprised because it’s unsuspecting to have someone appear out of nowhere when we think we’re alone. On a deeper level, maybe we were surprised because for that brief moment that we were alone, we weren’t hiding behind any false pretenses. Having someone see us without the security blanket can be quite scary, no?

There are varying degrees of pretentiousness. I think the more pretentious you are, the less secure you are. Being secure is something we strive for our whole lives. Do people accomplish this? I don’t think you can truly accomplish simple because of the complexity of lies that we create for ourselves throughout life. Most of which are on the subconscious level. I think Abraham Maslow believed in it to some extent and called it “Self-Actualization” – The ongoing actualization of an individual’s potentials and capacity that leads to feelings of fulfillment of life missions, and a fuller acceptance of our own true nature. Note the last part though, “fuller acceptance”, not complete.

So is being pretentious bad? --Not really. Can I sleep at night knowing I’m not always “keeping it real”? --Definitely. Why am I not upset? It’s human nature and it’s innocent. So do you still think you’re “keeping it real”? Well as real as I possibly can, which is a step in the right direction.